NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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