Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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