Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
