It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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