If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize