Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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