can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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