I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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