now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
