Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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