guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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