is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
