great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
