Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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