just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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