That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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