its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I woke up under a house in Key West
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
