Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
