she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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