I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize