well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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