This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
