yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
