When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
