Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i came on her dog
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
