I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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