remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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