One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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