I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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