you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
