I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
