you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
