He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
