Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
