I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
