It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
