is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
