I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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