You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
