Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
