A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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