one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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