I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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