fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
