yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
