Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
