Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
