well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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