You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
