she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
