If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
