Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
