would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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