his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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