I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
