Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
