i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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