you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
