Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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