i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
