The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
