yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
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There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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