once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
