ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
