morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
